I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
