He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
that is very illegal...i love you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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