The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
