butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
