Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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