i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
