Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
