Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
