Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
