The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize