Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
