Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
accomplished twins. life is a go
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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