Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
