I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
