just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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