i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i came on her dog
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
