i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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