Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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