the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
