Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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