i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
