Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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