I want you more than these girls want KFC
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
