I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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