TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
