either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
