I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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