Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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