Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
