It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
