Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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