he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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