we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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