feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
