Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Randomize
