I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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