I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
