wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
