She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
