It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
