another moral hangover. fuck.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
