ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
