just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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