he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
