There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
