yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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