Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
