Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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