This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
