On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
