32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
