i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
