As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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