I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
